Life As She Knows It
by AStarCalledEye
Summary: The journey of Hermione Granger as she attempts to finally recover from the pains of war. I do not know where it will go, but I try very hard to stay true to characters, in the hope that it will lead her to the love of Draco Malfoy. As of yet, anything is possible.


*Authors Note* I don't really know where this is going yet, its just popped into my head and feels like it needs to be written. It will be Hermione's journey as I see it, recovering from the war and eventually finding her place in the world, most probably with the company of a certain blonde Slytherin. My mission as always, is to stay as true to character as possible. I hope you enjoy. *Anything you are familiar with in this story belongs of course, to the amazing J. *

"Hermione! Wait! I'm-"

"Don't you dare say it Ronald Weasley!"

The sudden commotion that flooded the front yard of the burrow, disrupted the dreamy chirping of many a cricket for miles around. The stickiness of the summer evening was exhausting, unsettling even the most stable of relationships, or perhaps in this case revealing the fragility of those not so solid in its foundations.

"But 'Mione"

"Don't you but me! I have been trying so hard to help you through this Ron. I can't bring Fred back. I can't do it, I would give everything I have if it would help and- but I am sorry that I can't give you that- that physical comfort that you seek; I am just not ready. It doesn't mean that I don't love you, it just means that it is really important to me, it is the one part of me that has not been taken away, forced to sacrifice for the better of the entire world, or the comfort of the people I love. It is mine and I wont apologize for that. We need to start again. You need to start again. It's what he would want it's what they all would want. This isn't helping. I thought- I thought that I could help you, I thought we could help each other but-"

His face had dropped in shame,"I'm sorry. Please. Please just don't. Come inside. We can work this out-"

The beaded bag in her hand with its fraying tassels and irreparable burnt patches sat victim to her clenching hands. This was it. This moment was the precipice of their relationship. She had been fighting an internal battle for weeks, months even, wondering when her relationship with Ron would feel comfortable. Wondering when they would finally be able to work forwards with their lives instead of this never ending grey.

She had been longing to return to reality, hoping that maybe when the funerals had finally ended that the healing would begin. Instead she found herself trapped in the burrow surrounded by a family in terminal mourning. She had waited for months in hope that she could bring some kind of warmth to Ron's life. That they would be able to slowly heal each other. Six months had passed since the day of the final battle and in that time not a single step forward was made. Hermione had been smothered by Ron's never ending need for encouragement, comfort, reinforcement and his quick temper. He never once asked her about her parents, knowing that she was pining for the love of her family. She had never had the chance to recuperate, to absorb the actuality of the last two years. And in the same breath she could not deny that she too had her faults. She was never much of a physical being, preferring instead to connect on an emotional and intellectual level. She constantly found herself pulling away from Ron in the moments when he sort physical comfort; something which had been becoming a more prominent issue. This of course, was not her fault, it was instead her short temper that clashed with Ron's when she tried desperately to explain why. It was not that she didn't love him. She did, only a fool would say that she didn't. But he had.

It wasn't that she didn't love Ron, and it wasn't that she didn't understand his pain. She understood it; she nursed it deep within herself. But she had finally realized that she couldn't be the one to heal Ron's suffering. He would have to do it himself. How could they ever help each other if they couldn't help themselves?

"I'm sorry Ron."

With that she was gone, nothing left in her wake but the reverberating pop of apparation.


End file.
